


How can I wear your crown brother when I don't even know if I have earned my name

by LamentOfAFaerieGrl



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Past Rape/Non-con, Thor Is a Good Bro, abuse of sex magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 05:36:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13000971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LamentOfAFaerieGrl/pseuds/LamentOfAFaerieGrl
Summary: They throw a huge party after Thanos is defeated. Loki's actions are out of control, even going as far as using sex magic to enslave 3 girls at the party, forcing Thor to confront him. Some truths are bitter pills to swallow.





	How can I wear your crown brother when I don't even know if I have earned my name

The after war party was heating up, many girls took turns throwing themselves at Thor. Thor noticed Loki's sour mood. A few girls seemed to noticed where Thor was looking and they tried to get Loki to dance with them. Loki gets up and moves into the dance floor with them. Thor raised an eye brow at that. He knew Loki could dance but Loki rarely do so. Tony and Steve were holding hands watching.

Loki whispers things into each girl's ear and Thor seems their eyes glaze over. Thor stands up suddenly. Loki smiles cruelly at Thor and starts to move the girls like they were nothing more than dolls for him to abuse. They dance as if on puppet strings around him. Steve eyes Thor. “Thor?” he asks. “Sex magick. Mother forbid him to ever use. The light elves mistook him for a girl and taught him their magick one summer. I don't understand why Loki is doing this” Thor explains. “What does this spell do?” Steve asks. “Makes them his slaves, usually used to rape women but some use it to make them get drinks and such. Loki was raped, I don't understand why he is acting this way...” Thor explains. 

Loki pulls them close and then drops them without care to the floor. Thor has enough. “Loki, cease this!” he yells at him. “Cease what,Brother?” Loki asks. “Mother forbid this” he reminds. “Well she is dead now,isn't?” Loki spats out. Thor is taken aback. The girls get up and clap at the show. “Brother, what is the matter? I can't smooth what ails you if you don't ever communicate with me” Thor says. Loki snorts at him and the girls walk off to get drinks. 

Thor looses Loki in the chaos of it all and sighs. He doesn't understand why Loki is acting more like he did in New York City than he did on the ship. He walks around, looking for him all the same. He finds him sitting in a tree, with a snake, he suspects is very poisonous. “You and a snake, why am I not shocked...” Thor says with a sigh. “You used to love snakes too, Brother” Loki says. “What is wrong with you tonight, Brother? We won yet you seem just as mad as back in New York City. You would never treat women that way. I know you” Thor says. Loki laughs cruelly at him. “Won? Won? What did I win, Thor? To be raped? To be put back on his ship? To be forced to mass murder my own people? To know I'll forever be know as that God that went mad? Tell me, Thor, what did I win?” Loki asks. Thor drips his head. “Loki...I didn't mean to forget your part. I am truly sorry for what you paid, Loki. I miss my brother, you seemed happy on the ship. I almost swore you were little once again, before you were wronged.” Thor says. “I'm dead, Thor. I'll never be Loki again. Love is a lie, just random brain chemicals so we'll make babies. It means nothing. I was the weaker pray, he had the right to use sex to tame me. Because I was weak” Loki says. Thor feels sick. “That's not true. Nobody deserved to be raped, Brother. I'm not going to give up on you” Thor says. “Until you find Jane, right?” Loki asks, cocking his head abit. “We're done, Loki. I mourned you too much and she got sick of it.” Thor answers. Loki hums abit and lets the snake coil around his throat and shoulders.

Thor sighs and climbs the tree, taking the branch just below him. “When did I get replaced with a snake, Loki?” Thor asks. “When you first forgot my birthday and choose to go hunting with Sif” Loki answers. “When did I do that?” Thor asks. “I was 14, and you promised to go riding with me to the moutians. I had told you I was going to show you something special. You never showed and in fact was gone for nearly 8 months. It was also the first time you skipped Yule with me” Loki explains. Thor feels horrid and leans back. “Fuck, Loki. You've been hurting all that time?” Thor asks. “No, since I was 5 years old” Loki corrects him. “Why 5?” He asks. “Some boy was beating you up, he broke your arm and I got scared. That was the first time my Magick came to me. I made the bully run away and used my magick to heal you. You called me a girl and said I was a sissy. Then left me in the ruins of the building without telling anyone. Nobody noticed I was missing for over a day. Woke up in the snow, being carried by Mother who was pleading for me to wake up” Loki says. Thor starts to cry, just thinking of all the moments he failed. Loki looks at him. “Why are you crying?” Loki asks. “Because, I nearly murdered you and you still sit by my side. I don't know weather to cheer or to worry I am leaving you with no choice.” Thor answers. “I like it by your side, I'll be fine, Thor. Let me have my rage tonight.” Loki says, leaning back with his snake. “Will you sleep tonight or will I have to play the King card?” Thor asks, with abit of humor. “I rather not, I close my eyes and I feel my body being raped again. Tony swears it will past in time but I smell him in my hair, I smell him on my cloths, I smell him on my hands. “ Loki answers.

Thor wakes up in the middle of the night and signs. He had too much to drink and he can't stop worrying over his brother's words. He sits up and smiles,seeing Loki curled up beside him and even more so, due to lack of snakes. Loki is gripping the sheets tightly as he rides out another night terror. Thor moves Loki onto his chest and rubs his back, smoothing Loki back to normal sleep. 

Loki is gone in the morning, Thor sighs. He's been sighing too much of late he feels. He gets up and asks Tony where his brother is. “No clue, figured he was out talking to snakes in trees. He's an odd one.” Tony says, slipping coffee. “Loki thinks he earned being raped, because he was weaker than Thanos. “ Thor says. “Fuck, Prancer, you need some ego boost” Tony says, shaking his head at Loki. “We return to New York City in 4 hours” Steve announces. Thor runs to find Loki, refusing to misplace him. 

He sees Loki on a horse returning with a hunting party. Thor walks towards him. “Brother, will you return with me?” he asks. “Return where?” Loki says, trotting the horse towards the royal barns. “New York City, the Avengers are returning and I wish us to go with them.” Thor explains. “You joining the team?” Loki asks, getting off the horse. “I'm thinking about it, I would be honored if you would join me” Thor says. “I can't” Loki says. “Brother...” Thor says. “I will return to the city but I won't enter another battle field. I'm done fighting” Loki says. “No more battles? What do you desire then?” Thor asks. “Peace, Brother” Loki says as he ties the horse up. “And what does peace look to you? After all, we hold some different views on things.” Thor says. “it means me with a lot of books, it means me as a healer, and it means you respecting my wishes to no longer have a front row view to blood shed.” Loki explains. “I can honor that with ease, Loki” Thor says. Loki gives him one of his rare smiles. 

Loki steps off the jet to snow. He likes this a lot better to the heat they had just left. Tony asks what day it is, feeling disjointed due to everything happening to fast. “It's the winter solstice, Tony, not that it holds much meaning anymore” Steve answers him. Loki smiles at the answer. “You like today that much, Prancer?” Tony asks, taking a bag for Steve. “Yes, I love snow and it means I somehow endure another walk around the sun without dying.” Loki answers as he looks out over the city. “Wait, you were born today?” Steve asks. “Yep, ask my age and I shove you off the roof.” Loki answers. Steve laughs at that and they go inside. 

Thor slips out while Loki gets his room the way he likes it. He wasn't going to drop the ball this year or any year. Loki wakes up to a few boxes on a chair beside him. He sits up,rubbing his eyes. He doesn't remember falling asleep. He pulls them onto his bed and starts to open them. 

He lays out the gifts he learns is from Thor onto his bed. A green snake themed blanket, something Loki is utterly in love with. A few books on different spirtualities, and a few Oracle decks for him to learn. Loki puts them on his book case and lays the blanket on his bed and slips down stairs, Loki makes some tea and turns to the table. He sees everyone watching him and he feels the panic setting in his veins. Tony knows the signs better than most and guides Loki to sit. “He's not at a petting zoo, shesh, leave Prancer alone” Tony says. Natasha and Clint walk away. “Don't mind them, Lokes, some people just dont understand. But it is your birthday still, but you delayed our plans by falling asleep.” Tony says. “Plans?” Loki asks softly. 

He guides Loki to the living room where Thor opens his arms to Loki. Loki pauses briefly but takes the offer. Thor holds Loki close as he checks Loki over for any hurts. “We did so really last min but I'm a little shit so I'm a master of this” Tony says as he pushes more gifts towards Loki. Loki looks at Thor, trying to see if these are safe. Thor smiles and nods at Loki. Loki takes the first gift.

The team had given Loki a laptop, an mp 3 player since Loki loved music so much and a kindle. Loki eyed the Kindle with confusion. Banner shows him how to work it and tells him it can hold 1,000+ books. Loki is thrilled once he understands it and starts to order books on it. Thor smiles, watching his brother seem to come back into himself. 

Steve brings out the cake he had baked himself. In a joke, he had put 21 due to the date of Loki's birth. Loki rolled his eyes but found it funny all the same. “Am I even close?” Steve asks in teasing. “Nope, not even close. Guess I can't shove you off the roof then.” Loki says with a laugh. Loki falls back asleep against Thor's chest, tired from all the fussing. Thor rubs Loki's back as he lightly clutches Thor's t-shirt. 

Loki wakes up the next morning to over a foot of snow. Loki wraps himself in his snake blanket Thor got him and slips into the kitchen. He chooses left over birthday cake for his breakfast and sits on one of the chairs. Thor walks over, poptart hanging out of his mouth. “How did I not know we weren't related sooner...?” Loki says, taking in his brother's messy cloths and poptart half out his mouth. Thor laughs at that and ruffles Loki's hair. Loki pouts at him and kicks him in the shin. Thor meeps at the kick and glares at him. “Hands off the hair, Thor” Loki says. Thor feels brave and kisses Loki, enjoying the taste of cake frosting on his brother's lips. Loki leans into the kiss right away, surprising Thor but making him happy. “I'm not whole, Brother...” Loki warns. “So? I love you and that's all that matters when it comes to dating. I'm stupid, and a kicked puppy. Also, I love pizza.” Thor says. Loki shakes his head but smiles at that. “What if...I'm...too much?” Loki asks,softly. Thor holds Loki's hands in his own. “Never too much, always just right” Thor says. Loki blushes and goes back to his cake.

Steve and Tony high five each other. Thor raises an eye brow at them. They just grin at him and walk away. Loki looks quizzically at Thor. Thor steals a piece of his cake and Loki rolls his eyes at him. Thor just laughs and Loki enjoys the sound of it.


End file.
